Our own spirituality was probably not something we were taught in school and there are very few classes on how to be a conscious parent. It is from our own life experiences and spiritual enquiry that we learn how to be true to ourselves, and our biggest gift as a parent to our children is to lead by example.
"My husband and I believe that our spirituality must be evident in our daily lives. We try to live so that our children will be able to see God through us." (Mother of five)
Love Yourself
If we embrace ourselves as we are, drop judgments, doubts, fears then we can fully embrace ourselves as the teachers and nurturers of our children.
Shakta Kaur has been teaching children's yoga for years. She compares conscious parenting to "the experience of a wave rushing up against the shore and then retrieving back. Loving a child requires a willingness to have a deepening relationship with yourself and to continually go deeper inside yourself so that you can bring the gift of your sacred self to the child."
To be a loving, conscious parent, Shakta Kaur believes we need to go deep into ourselves and work hard at being the best and most bountiful that we can be and radiate this out.
Trust Yourself
When it comes to bringing up children consciously, there are no magic rules, it grows out of the seeds of common sense. Be what you want to see - if you act the way you want to see your children act, they will reflect that… acting consciously, with respect and understanding.
"Children are very perceptive and they watch every move you make," says Dr Phil. "For better or worse, they observe, learn and imitate your behaviors, actions, values, beliefs and even your expressions. It's a fact that children learn vicariously by observing the behavior of others and noting the consequences of their actions. You are in a position of tremendous power in regard to influencing the development of your child."
Being A Soul Model
Dr Phil suggests you ask yourself the following four questions… (actually check out his site http://www.drphil.com/ for a full 20 questions to ask yourself!)
• Do you model a life of passion and purpose, where you feel vibrant and alive, or does your life include things, such as your job, that you constantly complain about and profess to hate?
• Do you model taking good care of yourself physically, or do you eat junk food, continue to be overweight, smoke cigarettes or not exercise?
• Do you model properly defined self-worth and self-esteem based on character traits, or do you pursue worth and value through material things such as designer clothes, fancy cars and other status symbols?
• Do you model relationships with other people that are loving, affirming and supportive, or do you criticize other people, tear them down or talk behind their backs?
Respect Yourself
When we respect ourselves, those around us and the planet beneath our feet it lays firm foundations for all aspects of our lives and the lives of our children.
Mimi Doe is the author of 10 Principles of Spiritual Parenting. One of her principal lessons is - Trust and teach that all life is connected… "We help children see the connection between themselves and others as crucial to the purpose of their own lives. Trusting that all life has a purpose gives our children meaning in a complex and confusing world. It grounds them when they feel tossed and battered by external events."
"Children seem to be unconsciously aware of the need to know the purpose of everything. Feed that need!" says Mimi Doe. Fuel the inquisitive mind. Whether it's keeping a pet, doing the recycling, honouring the Autumn Equinox or taking food to an elderly neighbour, show your child how our lives are interconnected.
She suggests getting out in nature and investigating the rings of a tree trunk or studying a custom of the indigenous peoples of your country. Help children understand how they are part of the bigger picture.
What Children Have To Say
In her book, she includes little insights from the lives of little souls. "I always ask the plant first before I take a flower and then I try to remember to give it something back like a drink of water.” (Age 9)
"I am here on Sachen Trail. I am here looking at the water. It is rushing and running. I feel very good when I am here. I feel very sacred. All the trees seem to give me more breath.” (Age 7)
"I like to shovel driveways for my elderly neighbours in winter - it's especially nice to do it in the evening when they are asleep, so that they come out and find it that way and don't know who did it.” (Age 14)
One Team
Mimi offers affirmations in her book for both adult and child. Remember you are working together. Through raising your child, you are probably on one of the biggest spiritual courses of all times.
Through the innocence of your child, you will see a whole new piece of the puzzle that you hadn't considered before and understand your Self and your purpose at a much deeper level.
And If the questions ever get scary, don't retreat!
Unfortunately we are not going to be the only influences on our children - they will encounter all sorts of other theories and opinions and face many challenges along the way.
Sometimes our child might come with a story of bullying, a question about sex or they will at some point question our authority and our purpose… we may not always know the answers, but be as honest as possible and always respect their questions.
The more we participate in our child or teen's life, the more we will understand them, and maybe more importantly the more they will understand us. You might have to work out the trickier questions together as a team.
Check out Mimi Doe and join the spiritual parenting community at http://www.spiritualparenting.com/ Find out more about Radiant Child Yoga with Shakta Kaur at http://www.childrensyoga.com/