Hate To Love

The Dolphin Cards are designed as a tool to help one to ask themselves questions that will help one to connect to his or her essence.

So many times in life, especially in a life where we are surrounded by choices, we wonder who am I? Am I doing the job that suits me best? Am I in a healthy relationship? Am I making the right choices? Questions are endless and as soon as we feel we found an answer, a new day comes, a new situation arises and we need to ask the question(s) again.

But when we take time to stop and reflect, with a card in hand, or not, we are taking time to care about ourselves and it is not important that any answers or revelations are impermanent. What's important is the journey - that we have taken time for ourselves.

Yuval - To Be An Office Worker or Artist?

With this in mind, I make my friend Yuval, finally take a lunch break from his office job and offer him the dolphin cards to provide (hopefully!) some healing for him. He has a question that's been going to bed with him recently and even causing a few sleepless nights. His question is - Should I stay in my present comfort zone at work or return to being an artist?

Before he even picks a card, I ask Yuval what he means by 'comfort zone' and what artistic occupation he had before. He explains that he has a regular 9-5 office job as the manager of an internet site. Every day he comes to work and more or less knows what needs to be done and every month he takes home a regular paycheck. He used to be a screen writer - living in the unknown, sometimes being inspired to write all night, living with characters and ideas from his imagination. 

The First Card - Expressing My Inner Talents 

With this information on the table, Yuval hesitantly picks a first card and we both smile at the appropiateness of the card - EXPRESSING MY INNER TALENTS. Here are fishy heroes are being artistic - one playing music, another dancing and the third is using a computer…just like Yuval does now.

My initial instinct is to think - Ok you can be artistic at any job you do - whether you're making music or working with a computer. The point is to love what you do.

But I realize Yuval knows this - he knows about the power of doing what you like to do and therefore doing it well. Such a preachy comment isn't going to help him. We need to ask questions that will get to the source of his main question.

So I ask him, "Do you think you are connecting to your inner talents in these days?"
Yuval replies, "Yes but with restrictions. I am writing which I enjoy but I am not as free as I want to be."
- What about other inner talents? - I continue.
- As a teenager I was a good singer. About 12 years ago I recorded with a group in a studio and we got great feedback but nothing happened. Now I just sing in the shower. -
- What stops you from pursuing your passion and talent for singing? -
- Because right now it's not a priority. I am working and studying. -

I had nothing more to ask, so I said to Yuval, "OK I guess we will see the big picture soon," and advised him to pick another card. SEEING THE BIG PICTURE, was the card he then picked!

So I asked him where did he see himself, ideally, in three years time. "I'll have finished my studies and will be a part time bibliotherapist and the rest of my working time I will be writing books."

We turned back to the card in order to understand what message it is giving about 'the big picture.' I told Yuval that I saw a couple with a baby and he rightly replied, "that's what you see. I see a dolphin accepting all parts of himself."
- You mean accepting the comfort seeking self and the artistic self that wants to write books?-
- Well that's the million rupee question because to be artistic, I believe, you have to be completely devoted to your art.-
- But you can't make yourself be devoted - either you are or you aren't. Don't you think?-
- You're right. I want so many things and yet the big picture is that I chose this job and I am choosing to study to be a therapist.-

The Final Card

Feeling that something was moving within Yuval, some inner realizations perhaps, I suggested another card and this time he picked, TRANSFORMING HATE TO LOVE. I asked him how he felt the card related to him.

- Maybe I need to spend less time fighting with myself over what I should do and who I am and embrace the many aspects of who I am. The world is constantly changing and we go through phases. One day a student, the next a teacher. One time an office worker, another time a freelancer. Sometimes comfortable, sometimes uncomfortable.-

-So this card is about loving who you are?-
- Yes I need to be more patient with myself and not question my decisions. I am where I am and it is fine. I probably spend too much energy on negative states of mind like whining. Love means to respect my choices.-
- And accept your whining! Yes?-

We laugh. And then I notice that the dolphins in this card are sitting in a classroom and I said to Yuval that perhaps, that's a 'sign' that his studying to be a therapist is a good thing.

But Yuval is more grounded and he dismisses my "airy fairy sign reading," bringing back to the unmissable truth. "Whatever I do," he says, "whether I am an accountant or an artist, this card reminds me what my aim has always been, is and hopefully will always be - to transform hate to love."

If you want to pick a dolphin card then go to the following link

http://www.bow.co.il/VSD/dolphin_game/game.asp?lang_id=3