It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. That's how I feel about the six weeks I spent in Chiang Mai in northern Thailand.
It's a beautiful city which gave me massive support during one of the hardest times of my life.
Taking A Walk On Their Arrival
When we, my beloved and I, arrived there we wandered along Soi Ratchadamnoen home to the walking market, with its' wonderful collection of stalls selling beautiful things.
You can sit in a bank of armchairs and have traditional foot massage, sip cocktails, eat squid on a kebab and generally enjoy being a tourist in a warm, friendly atmosphere.
As we strolled up the main drag with locals and tourists alike, we came across a beautiful green Buddha in the middle of the street. Thai locals were lining up, donating money and getting water to wash over the Buddha.
We were in Chiang Mai at a very special time - the celebration of Buddha's enlightenment and at the end of the week would be the big Visakha Puja day.
We queued up too, hoping to cleanse ourselves as we cleansed the Buddha. And my beloved had a particular question he wanted an answer to.
A Shock
The next day he took his question to the city's main hospital. He had a problematic tonsil and wanted to get some advice. Within a few hours he had had a CT scan and discovered he had a tumor in his throat.
We were devastated. At just 28, he was facing something that you only think happens to other people. And we were so far from our friends and family.
The next day he had a biopsy scheduled. I remember vividly how much he shook when the surgeon said he could schedule it for that very afternoon, giving us no time to really digest what was going on.
In fact, we had enough time to go back to our guest house, pick up a few overnight things and visit the closest temple to us. We lit incense, made offerings and walked around the Buddha three times.
We played a waiting game for the next few days, with many visits to temples. Neither my partner or myself are Buddhists, but the energy of the city was so sacred, so nourishing that we made daily visits to the temples around us. And luckily there are a lot of them - over three hundred.
Favourite Temples
My two favourites are at two ends of the spectrum…. Wat Pan On is a small temple complex. It is very quiet and humble. People come and eat their lunch in the grounds or play chess at the tables under the sacred banyan trees. The grounds of the temple are so beautiful that I used to sit under the trees by the lovely Buddhist shrine.
My other favourite is Wat Doi Suthep which is 15km outside of Chiang Mai and a pilgrimage from the city by rattling songthaew (a small pickup truck communal taxi). The temple is incredible. It sits on the mountain that gives its name and is a massive golden complex.
Here again we found a beautiful emerald Buddha and again we bathed the Buddha and made offerings. We bought a small bell to leave there with a message and my partner's name. The whole place resounds with the sounds of these bells tinkling in the breeze.
We donated money for a tile for the temple roof. We offered tiny bits of gold leaf to the Buddha to show in our next life which part we would like healing with… In every temple, we had our fortunes told by kneeling in front of the shrine, shaking fortune sticks and letting one fall to the ground to dictate our fortune.
The Holy Day
On the Friday, it was Visakha Puja - the celebration of the day of Buddha's Enlightenment - and we had a personal phone call from the surgeon. He had the results of the biopsy. The tumor was benign. We had our own little moment of lightness on Buddha's day of enlightenment.
Smiling we went to celebrate Visakha Puja with the rest of Chiang Mai. We went to Wat Phra Singh one of the largest and most well-known temples within the walls of Chiang Mai.
And then in the evening we joined the masses to do three circumambulations of Wat Chedi Luang, one of Chiang Mai's oldest temples and one of the main gatherings on this day. Monks in saffron robes led the circling of the temple.
Bells were rung. Mantras chanted. In this torchlit procession, each person carries flowers, three glowing incense sticks and a lighted candle in silent homage to the trinity - the Buddha, his teaching and his disciples.
From young to old, families came together to mark this the most auspicious day in Thailand's year. And again we bathed the Emerald Buddha, a symbol of enlightenment. And to us, an enduring symbol of healing.
We woke up the next day ready to face the next phase of our journey. My beloved was to undergo a five hour operation to remove the tumor. It could affect the muscles of his face, it could affect his vocal cords.
When my beloved told the surgeon between tears that he is a singer, the surgeon joked that he was working out so he could be fit for the operation. He was an amazing man. The whole team at the hospital were amazing.
Wandering The City Alone
I found Chiang Mai such a supportive environment. While my partner was convalescing, I spent a lot of time walking the streets, sitting in temple gardens, meditating, praying and enjoying the wonderful distractions of the city. I felt held by the city.
It's a small city where none of the commercial or residential buildings can be taller than the many temples of the city. From my beloved's hospital room, we could see many of the beautiful temples that we had visited.
The main heart of the city is encircled by a moat and walls. You can walk from one side to the other pretty quickly. Even if you venture outside the walled city, nothing is too far away. And in many of the little backstreets, I found gems.
I needed literal nourishment as well as spiritual nourishment, and away from the temples I found fresh juice places and avocado omelettes, traditional veggie thai food, ginger ice creams and khao soi (Burmese dish) with tofu in a bookshop cum café called Aum…
There is even a tradition of massage served up within the temple complexes and I often took my worrying head and stressful shoulders to Wat Sam Pao temple. Whether you go for prayer, for coffee, massage or shopping, the temples here are not reserved for days of worship they are part of everyday life here and that is to be celebrated.
And the people. It's not like I made firm friends there, but I had my regular haunts and many friendly faces at them. Every time I went to my favourite juice place or café, I found genuine nourishment from the people as well as the food.
So both my beloved and I look back at our time in Chiang Mai with mixed feelings. As a city, I think now it is one of my favourites because I really felt so supported there, by its temples, by its people, even by walking the streets. To me, it has a very special aura. And on Visakha Puja we had our own little taste of enlightenment.