On Arrival In California
“You are from Israel??? Cool!!!”
I was surprised to hear such exclamations from new acquaintances when I first arrived in California.
With their short-lived past, I suspect Americans admire foreigners, since they all come from long, glorious histories. Not to mention an Israeli who is used to living in the midst of 2000 years old ruins, and as a Californian once said to me “a 100-year old house is considered very old over here.”
Within a culture that worships individuality, I found myself embracing my roots and my uniqueness in the US.
Growing Up In Israel
My birthplace, Romania, which was a source of shame for me growing up in Jerusalem, adds an interesting twist to my history when mentioned in the U.S.
For children growing up in the 60’s in Israel, there was a clear hierarchy to one’s family’s origins.
Being a “Sabra” (meaning Israeli-born) was undeniably top of the list. Then came those from English-speaking countries (and there weren’t many of them). The “Askenazim” came next, referring to European origins, while the “Sfaradim” who originated in Muslim countries, were at the bottom of the pile.
Romanians ranked at the bottom of the European ladder, and I was born there. The fact that my family and I immigrated to Israel when I was three years old, helped very little… My Non-Israeli name was a dead give-away, which prevented me from telling a white lie about my birthplace. No one born in Israel would be given any but an Israeli name.
Assumptions
The fascination Americans have with my widely spread roots took an unexpected turn, though.
Being Jewish, I was greeted by every Jew I met as if I were their long lost cousin! They assumed I was addicted to bagel-and-cream-cheese, which I never once had in Israel, nor did I even know about it.
I grew up with “Baigale,” a pretzel-like bread, while cream cheese was a delicatessen reserved for the rich. Our corner store and supermarket offered only 9% spread-able cheese (the percentage referring to fat content) or a 5% variety for those on a diet. Salmon was not even on the map!
Jewish And Israeli Are Two Different Things
This came as a shock to Jews and non-Jews alike. Everyone assumed I spoke Yiddish, which I don’t. They were convinced I liked Kleizmer music and loved everything about Israel. Wrong again.
It was surprising for me to have to explain, and fascinating for people to hear, how far is my Israeli experience from that of a “Cultural Jew” in the States.
The main differences stem from the fact that growing up a Jew in Israel, one is part of the majority, while American Jews are a cultural minority, and largely live as “other.”
Hanukkah
Consumerism in tow, Jewish children are now accustomed to receiving 8 gifts, one for each night of the Hanukkah holiday. If once little Jewish kids wanted to be Christians and get lots of Christmas presents, the tables of envy are now reversed, and everyone wants to be Jewish and get “prezies” for days on end… People, of course, are amazed to hear that this is not an Israeli custom, or at least didn’t used to be when I was growing up.
Most Jewish holidays are celebrated in the States as ‘Cultural Holidays.’
People I know celebrate them because they did as children, and now want to pass the custom forward. Comparing notes leaves both sides puzzled.
I tell about the Hanukkah of my childhood, which was focused on the Greek occupation of the Holy land and its semi-successful attempt at converting Jews; the revolt of the “Makkabim,” and Hanukkah’s theme of “the few against the many.”
My American Jewish friends have no idea of what I am talking about. They grew up eating potato Latkes, playing dreidle for money, and lighting a “Menorah,” while I was eating “Sufganiot,” spinning a “Sevivon” that had no monetary value, and lighting a “Hanukkiah”. The “Menorah” in Israel has nothing to do with Hanukkah. Surrounded by olive branches it is the symbol of the state of Israel…
And The Final Twist
What invariably breaks the camel’s back is hearing that I grew up in an atheist family in Jerusalem.
This is unbelievable to most Americans I talk with, Jews or not. Though none of them are orthodox themselves, they assume most people in Israel are. When I mention that my school, like most schools in Israel, was secular, and the bible was taught as a literary text, they just about have a mind-quake.
How can this be, they ask, and start thinking: if so many of their beliefs were based on unfounded assumptions, who knows what else they may be holding as truth, which bears no relation to reality…? Playing my humble part in launching a mind-quake, I am always glad to be of service.
DeAnna L’am, speaker, coach, and consultant is the author of Becoming Peers – Mentoring Girls Into Womanhood. She leads workshops and creates ceremonies in California and internationally. DeAnna welcomes dialogues with her readers, please visit her at www.deannalam.com