A reader laments: I don't really feel valued at work. What can I do?
Linda Naiman: I feel your pain. We all want to feel valued, respected and recognized for our contributions at work. William James, has said "The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated," yet according to Leigh Branham, author of The 7 Hidden Reasons Employees Leave, 60 percent of employees say they feel ignored or taken for granted.
This could be explained by a difference in values. Studies by KA Kovach reveal that employers think employees want good wages, job security, promotions and growth in the organization. From this perspective a job and pay check is thanks enough.
Is It Me, Or Is It Them ?
If I am not feeling valued, the first thing I'd ask myself is: Is it me, or is it them? So, let's start with an exploration of your own values. What are they, and can you honestly say that you are living them? For example, are you reliable and trustworthy? Do you keep your word when you say you will do something? To what extent do you value other people's points of view, and let them know you appreciate their contributions? Are your values in harmony with those of your workplace?
In other words do you believe in the values and principles from which your organization operates? What value do you bring to the table at work? There is a metaphysical principle that says if you want it, be it.
Self-Worth
The picture we have of ourselves reflects the level of our self-esteem, and feeling valued begins with how we feel about ourselves. Ask yourself, do I feel good about myself? Do I appreciate my own worth? Do I take pride in my own abilities, skills and accomplishments? If not, it's time to change your self-image and improve your self-esteem.
I remember being a presenter for the first time at an international conference which took place in a castle. I was amongst well-known authors and other luminaries, in the spot light and out of my comfort zone.
I noticed if my self-talk created insecurity I became invisible to everyone and my seat at the table disappeared. Yet when I felt confident I was visible again, and my place at the table opened up again.
I felt like I was living a fairy tale where magical events take place to test character, and I learned about the relationship between worthiness and visibility.
To improve your confidence and self-worth, create a positive mindset by finding things to appreciate about yourself and others. Focus on what you do well and recent accomplishments. What have you done well lately? What feedback do you receive from others? When you encounter problems look for the opportunity to learn and grow.
Take some time to reflect on your personal values and self-worth. You might want to write your thoughts and feelings in a journal. Note what changes you need to make and once made, note the impact on your relationships with your boss and co-workers.
Creating Value
Your first priority on the job is to make your boss look good (without being a suck up.) Find ways to help her or him be as effective as possible. Treat your boss as a customer.
You may ask her for a meeting to discuss specific proposals and ideas on how you would like to be involved. Ask for feedback on what helps her, what hinders her and what needs to be improved. Put your ideas in writing in the form of emails and memos, to increase your visibility, but don't count on ideas being your only currency in value creation. Ideas must be turned into action and results.
Many women I know present ideas to the boss, only to have him champion the idea as if it were his own.
When I ask if their name is on the project, they say no, it doesn't matter. Yes, it does. It's great when your ideas are valued, but make sure your name is attached to the project and you are not invisible. This will help your efforts get recognition, take on plum projects and get promoted.
Keep track of your achievements in writing. How can you measure your results? How did you contribute to the productivity, effectiveness or profitability of your workplace?
Is It Time to Move On?
If you are a high achiever and you do add value to your organization, but its still not working out, then perhaps its time to move to on.
Linda Naiman is an associate business coach at the University of British Columbia, creativity consultant and speaker. She known internationally for pioneering arts-based learning and development in organizations, and is co-author of Orchestrating Collaboration at Work. Clients include Fortune 500 companies, public sector organizations and small consultancies. Visit her website at http://www.creativityatwork.com/