Translated and adapted from the Hebrew by DeAnna L’am
“Your sight becomes clearer only when you look into your own heart. Those who look outward -dream. Those who look inward - awaken.” Karl Jung
We are taught, throughout our life, to follow others’ example, to learn from others, and to fit in. As children we are rewarded for such behavior by being called “a good boy/girl.” This is followed by “good student,” perhaps even “good soldier,” and finally “good worker.”
The rewards of value from our surrounding make us obedient and considerate, until an inner voice may begin to rise within us, indicating a wish to break out of dictated order.
Like Monkeys Acting By Conditioning
Five monkeys were put into a cage. In order to survive, one needed to climb up and fetch a banana from above. Each time a monkey climbed to pick a banana, a strong water jet sprayed the remaining monkeys. When the monkey climbed down, a bunch of wet and angry monkeys hit him hard.
As time passed, bananas continued to be presented from above, and the monkeys were not sprayed with water from the water jets. The monkeys on the ground, though, continued hitting the climbing down monkey.
New monkeys were introduced into the cage. The new comers observed and learned that bananas needed to be picked from above. When a monkey climbed down they all joined the collective hitting.
Gradually, all original monkeys were replaced, and the new monkeys who were introduced were oblivious to the water jet treatment days. Still, each climbing down monkey was given blows by its cell mates. This is a true experiment.
Not only do we humans act out of conditionings, the origins of which we are oblivious to, we also think from within axioms that bear no relation to our nature, or to reality.
Have you ever thought about exiting from the cages in your life? And trying to get closer to who you really are.
No More Faking
“Human being’s potential is great. You are unable to imagine even a fraction of what a human being can achieve. But nothing can be achieved while sleeping. In a sleeping human’s consciousness there is a mixture of dreams, illusions, and reality. Such a person lives in a subjective world, from which s/he can’t get out. This is why such a person can never utilize her/his full potential, and will always live only a fraction of one’s self.” Gurdjieff
There are times when we wish to disappear, to cease existing. Not necessarily in the physical sense, but metaphorically. I believe this is a good sign, because it indicates we are no longer willing to be fake.
Perhaps we touched ourselves internally, had a glimpse of our depth, and recognized our fakeness. Having been exposed, it is hard to continue playing the old game. Pretending would cost us dearly, since we have already moved to a different place.
But releasing our unhealthy habits, conditioned actions and negative thoughts - even if they are not fully ours – is not easy. What will be left of us?
We may be so used to our iron suit of armor, that we believe we feel comfortable in it. We are may be so familiar with our costumes and masks, that taking them off would leave us feeling naked and exposed.
What would happen if we try to take off the mask that doesn’t serve us anymore, and dare letting go of our unnecessary parts, in order to make room for who we really are?
Making The Change
With the process of self-remembrance, I will find words that will ring true within me. I will attract new friends who will love my authentic being.
Relating to ourselves lovingly, and remembering we have choices about everything we do, moment by moment, we can let go of any part of us that doesn’t serve us, and replace it with that which improves our quality of life.
Your true inner nature is like a room in your home. If that room is filled full with furniture, which doesn’t reflect your taste, nor is it comfortable, yet you are used to it all -- you will be unable to bring in any new furniture.
Attempting to bring in a new sofa, and shoving it into your living room, will only make it crowded, uncomfortable, and disharmonious.
And so the process begins with letting go. Letting go of all the masks we don’t need in order to hear and respond to our authentic self.
Practical Inner Work
Write down, daily, what you wish to change; which behaviors or beliefs keep you away from your authentic self or your true wishes; and what would you like to strengthen within yourself.
If, for instance, you used to be extremely polite, and avoided expressing your needs and wants directly, now is the time to strengthen your self-loyalty. You will not be able to fake anything if you act out of loyalty to yourself. When a need or a want emerges, you will find it necessary to express it clearly. As a result, you will be standing in your true position, and situations may more likely work to your favor.
When you come across a part of yourself you wish to strengthen, write it down again and again.
Fill a whole notebook with a new asset, such as: “I am loyal to myself. I strengthen my belief in myself.”
We need to remember the fact that change is not instantaneous. Initial change may only lead to a brief moment of light, which will disappear as quickly as it arrived. Honest and deep focus, on the other hand, will bring significant and recognizable results in any and all aspects of your life.