The Story Starts Here
In order to earn money, I sometimes sell jewellery to locals and tourists hanging out at the beach cafes and lounging on sunbeds on my local beach.
I pass amongst them, with my small bag of jewellery, waving the bracelets hanging from a hook in my hand, and calling out in different languages, “Hello! Would you like to have a look at handmade bracelets?” Or with a smile I say, “Beautiful jewellery for beautiful people!”
For years, business was steady and good, and yet it is tiring to walk in the sand, under the hot sun, smiling and talking to so many people.
Silent Workshop In Sinai
Then it happened that I went to the Sinai desert in Egypt. I rented myself a simple hut by the Red Sea and gave myself a mission to be as silent and still as possible for the month that I was there.
Apart from eating, swimming, and making music at night with other tourists and travellers, I was mainly in an horizontal position, quietly watching the waves, or, at night, star gazing and moonbathing.
“Shh!” I would say to myself every time I was tempted to start talking...to tell someone what i was thinking and feeling, to share my knowledge, my point of view. As I became accoustomed to my silence (and stillness,) I noticed a change. I was thinking more before I did speak, choosing my words carefully and then uttering them slowly and clearly.
Dealing With Mind Chatter
I also had more time to be with my thoughts – that constant internal dialogue – and i noticed how often my thoughts included judgements, worries and fears.
After some time of observing my thoughts in silence, I had had enough...and intended to only think uplifting and positive thoughts. So as soon as my mind went to complain or compare, the sage woman within me would override my negativity with thoughts like – Accept what is! Look for the best in people! Whistle a tune! Relax, breathe, don’t worry, be happy!
Of course this dramatic turn of thoughts, made me feel calmer and lighter, and I certainly had more time to be filled with the beauty of the nature around me. I also found that i became a better listener - really taking the time to listen to other people.
Transformation
On my return to my city home, I resumed my job on the beach, approaching tourists with the anklets and bracelets. And my new style was not to speak...perhaps here and there to say hello, but i was determined not to interrupt any tourist reading, listening to music, talking, eating or playing with their mobile phone.
I simply walked slowly along the beach with the jewellery in view and stood silently with a smile.
A remarkable thing happened! First of all I saw that sales continued the same and those people who did want jewellery, would ask me if they could take a look. And those who didn’t want, instead of blanking me, they would politely say, no thanks.
But more than that, I noticed that the strangers on the beach saw me in a different way. It was as if they had more love and respect for me, the beach seller. Perhaps because I now had more love and respect for them, saying to myself, “who am i to interrupt them? Is my jewellery selling job more important than what they are doing?”
When i was talking because somebody wanted to buy, I still kept words to a minimum, never giving my opinion about a bracelet unless asked and not feeling the need to say anything about the jewellery unless asked. So i didn’t jump in straightaway with the price, or give my monologue about the bracelets being hand made and taking so long to make, and what happened is that people started to spend less time choosing and I was able to make more sales more quickly.
Like Meditation
Those who meditate know about the value of silence. Personally, I love that moment of coming out of meditation, opening my eyes, and feeling like I’ve been through a wash that cleans me of all thoughts.
Sometimes I go into meditation with a question and when i come out, I feel I have the answer. Not because my mind has been ruminating, but because in silencing my mind, I was able to provide space for the answer to appear. And by going inside to my inner home of relaxation and acceptance, I can tap into more inspirational thoughts.
Silence never dies. It is our being. Like a mattress inside of us where we can rest and see clearly. How many of your best decisions have been made in silence? Consider the times that you are asked a question and you pause before you answer or you even say to the other, I’ll get back to you with the answer, let me sleep on it.
Our external listening skills are not the only thing to improve when we shut up. In our silence we not only give someone else the chance to be heard properly, but we also allow ourselves to hear our inner voice.
Silence Talks
There i am one day sitting on the beach, resting between sales, and mulling over some options that I had with regards to a personal health issue. As i focused on the sea and remembered simply to breathe, one of my options kept on making more noise in my mind than the others. “Ah ah, that’s the way to go,” I said to myself.
And at that moment, which felt like a decision, a man sitting behind me, watching his small son successfully climb a playground frame on the beach, started to clap.
Realistically he was clapping for his child, but I heard that clap as a sign that I had, in my mind, made the right decision. A few minutes passed, I started again to worry about which path to take, again I came back to my initial gut feeling, again, right on cue, the happy father clapped.
Of course we can make no connection between my decision making and the man clapping, and if i had been on the phone to a friend with my dilemma, then i might not have even heard anything in my surroundings, but because my whole being felt immersed in silence, I was able to understand that the universe was providing me with the signs i needed in order to make the right decision.
Nature Is A Silent Guide
Nature is a great guide for showing us the power of silence. In Israel, Saturday is a holy day when shops are shut, people don’t move too much, transport on the city streets is minimal, and no neighbour will put their music too loud. I wake up to the sound of silence and spend the morning listening to the birds. By the afternoon life is noisier but my silent mornings are such a treat, enabling me to slow down, detox from machines, and to tap into that eternally silent aware self.
I once interviewed a member of the Tibetan Parliament who told me that, inspired by His Royal Highness The Dalai Lama, he would wake just before four o’clock in the night, in order to benefit from the depth of silence that is in this hour. I too from time to time find myself waking before four and in the dark still night, with nothing to do and nowhere to go, it all seems so clear.
Silence and stillness are our essence. When we remember this, when we dare to drop the ego that needs to be heard, witnessed, applauded or adored, we see that our joy can not be diminished by external events and our calm can not be destroyed even by a storm.
Words to the mouth are like a cigarette to the hand, filling awkward silences, creating the illusion of a shared moment. And when, like giving up smoking, we give up yakking, we allow ourselves to be cleaner and more healthy.
Silence Heals
How many times do we think that we have met the perfect partner because we have so much in common, so much to talk about? And years pass, and then we feel we know all their stories, and when we talk we don’t understand each other and yet we should know each other better for the years shared together.
And there are the fights and make up conversations, and maybe we find ourselves in therapy and only then, with a good therapist, we may actually shut up for a moment and two people, who once fell in love, will look each other in the eyes and hold that look, and understand that so much can be said, heard, and forgiven in a silent moment of reaching out to the soul of another human being.
Dare To Be Silent
Silence is simple – shh! – and yet we fear it. It is nothing-ness, emptiness, aloneness, it is letting go of ego. How our ego can shine in witty conversation, in speaking another’s person language fluently, in having a political opinion, or showing our knowledge, wisdom or sympathy.
What will people think of you, if you sit in a party totally quiet, unfussed that nobody is talking to you? Will others think you are dumb? Will you care what others think? Can you still enjoy the gathering?
If you are at peace with yourself, if inside you feel happy to be at the party and happy to just be, unconcerned with other’s opinions, then you will radiate that inner peace and though the party may not become silent (after all it is a party) your genuine inner peace will contribute a feeling of harmony and love to those around you. After all, living in the Middle East, i have come to learn, peace talks.
©iStockphoto.com