By Nitzan Sitzer
I first heard the saying - Let Go, Let God - many years ago when living in Colorado, which, for me, at the time seemed like the new age capital of the world. There were spiritual workshops for a dime a dozen.
Everyone had some kind of perspective on truth and wished to share it. I just couldn't get enough light. I was an Aquarian age junkie. I enjoyed the buzz of the higher energies, opening to my higher purpose and doing everything I could to get in tune and in touch with the deepest meaning of it all.
However, one evening, after riding the high wave of an exquisite group meditation, my inner guidance suggested I stop. No more groups, no more workshops, lectures, classes, healings…
"What do you mean?" I asked, with the subtle nervous twitch of an addict.
"Dear one," the voice said with such love, "it's not about doing spirituality; it's about being it. Information can only take you so far. You've tilled the soil over and over again. Now allow the seeds to grow. Just be."
"Ok," I said. "So then what do I need to do in order to nurture the seeds?"
"That's just the point," my inner voice giggled, "you needn't do anything; seeds grow of their own grace. You simply need to open and allow. Let go and let god…
"But, but," I reluctantly squirmed, "I can't just let go, who will do the doing?"
I could feel the smile of my inner knowing broadening.
"Who makes the sun rise in the morning? What causes the stars to shine, the water to flow, the fish to swim. There is an indescribable wisdom and power at play."
I started to understand. For so long I had experienced my-self as a self; separate and alone in a big uncontrollable world. I had to find my place in it, earn a living and know what to say and how to act.
But then the question arose - What about infinite widom? God? A higher force?
I came to the conclusion that, that 'infinite wisdom' is always available to me, that it is like electricity and even when I switch off the light, the electricity is still there.
But that idea wasn't my moment of enlightenment…
Eventually I saw that I had created another falsehood; those paradigms of infinite wisdom and me, God and me, were perhaps also an illusion.
My inner truth kept nudging me to realize that there was no separation. I am separate from nothing. I can think that I am, or feel I am, but in truth I am one with everything.
Let Go and Let God started to make more sense. I decided to let 'oneness,' that part of me that is connected to all things, guide my 'ships.'
It definitely is the best map and can steer me through any narrow straights or turbulent waters. For instance, if I feel negative emotions in a relation-ship, like anger or frustration, I see how I also can cause anger and frustration.
If I recognize someone as smart, beautiful and funny, then it is true - I am also all those wonderful qualities.
If I can just stay awake to the knowledge that I am connected to all the world then I can see that everything is gracefully whole and complete.
And so goes the joke of a Buddhist monk who asked the hotdog vendor to "please, make me one with everything."
Let Go and Let God. Can truth really be that simple? Is there really an infinite universe just waiting to manifest its infinite abundance for me?
A loving universe that had no conditions other than those I myself have created and believe in. Oh, what magic!
After my experience in Colorado, I complied with my inner voice's guidance and attempted to stop all the doing. Of course, it took practice.
I felt I was slowly letting go of a deep need of wanting and instead was opening to the experience of already and forever having, because all I could ever want, on some level, I already had and was.
I sure am glad I listened to that quiet inner voice who gently yet adamantly nudged me onto this new way of being…being - that reminds me of a story:
A honey bee one day set off to prove to the hive that he was the greatest pollen collector of them all. However, after a series of unfortunate trials and tribulations, during which he got lost, entangled in a spider's web and chased by a hungry bat, he finally came to realize that his need to prove was a useless expression of his inherent buzzing nature.
He finally understood that all he needed to do was just bee… and lo and behold, there within him he found an infinite source of pollen… which eventually led him to finding a massive field full of plump pollen rich flowers.