Talking To Myself 
Just recently something has become very clear to me. Quite simply, on many occasions I am not very kind to myself. I have noticed how negative I am about myself. It’s subtle, but it’s there.
I’m sitting teaching a yoga class and my inner soundtrack is saying ‘I’m tired’ or worse ‘I’m exhausted’. Am I? Am I really exhausted?
My negative feedback loop is on overdrive. It’s like I’m self-programming myself to be tired, fed up and irritable. Often, I realize I’m having these thoughts or saying these things to myself over and over again. But half the time, actually probably more like 90% of the time, if I ask myself is this really true, it most certainly isn’t.
I’m sure no friend would ever come up to me and say “Wow, Viriam you look awful, really exhausted, look at those bags under your eyes, what are you doing to yourself?”, nor would they say “Gee, you’re looking huge fatso, you might wanna give the cake a miss.” And yet, that’s what I’m saying to myself.
Judgements
Sometimes when I’m teaching, I do not plan what I’m going to say and I am inspired by the universe. When I am in this spontaneous flow I speak about a place beyond judgement, beyond the self defeating soundtrack that can run through our minds.
We carry around a lifetime of experiences that have brought us to where we are today and we need to honour them as our life lessons, and to drop the judgements connected to these experiences. So often, we see ourselves a certain way, coloured by the experiences of the past or our projections of the future. How often do you enjoy a moment for what it is right now?
Similarly, we are often carrying around a whole heap of commentaries and ‘shoulds/shouldn’ts’ from our friends and family.
Ahimsa
It’s time for me to break this pattern and start practicing Ahimsa.
Ahimsa is the practice of non-violence and can be applied to every aspect of ourselves and our lives, including our thought processes.
And of course, just as I realize that this is something I really need to work on, I discover that one of my favourite author’s Swami Mayatitananda has launched a whole project based on this. We always get what we need exactly when we need it!
“Ahimsa, a Vedic term that describes an awareness of non-violence toward self, nature and life is the most important exercise we can put into practice in our daily lives. The attitude of ahimsa should inform all aspects of our behaviour and speech, because the hurt we incur through negative thought and speech – both of which have a damaging effect on us and everything around us – is the most grievous act of aggression we can commit,” says Swami Mayatitananda.
“In essence, our words must flow in harmony with our thoughts, or we will create an inner conflict caused by the discrepancy between what we think and what we say.”
And as I say, sometimes the things I’m thinking simply aren’t true, it’s not even that they contradict what I am saying. My thoughts are even at odds with reality.
Bryon Katie created the famous four questions that can help to ask ourselves “Is what I am saying and believing actually true?”
And Mother Teresa had something to say about language when she was asked to join an anti-war campaign. “No,” she said, “but I will join a pro-peace campaign.”
Swami Mayatitananda is on a world tour to promote Living Ahimsa. By giving meditation and daily contemplations, she believes we come to a place of total awareness about how we speak to ourselves and others. Swami Mayatitananda (Mother Maya) is an inspirational teacher and wise woman. She has guided me so many times from darkness to inspiration.
“Wholesome, peaceful action should inform all aspects of our behavior -- every bite of food we eat, every thought we think, every word we utter, every breath we take, every choice we make, every prayer we offer -- we strive to be one of ahimsa - harmony.”
She says, that “In making the Vow of Ahimsa a first priority in your life, you awaken your ability to access your personal awareness by transforming thoughts, speech and action. It arouses personal awareness, thereby creating an instant shift in global consciousness. Living Ahimsa invokes your memory of joy and harmony, and wellness. Through Living Ahimsa you take back the world! Living Ahimsa honors the sanctity of each person, all species, Mother Earth and her sacred resources. Living Ahimsa is packed with prescient wisdom, holding the best promise for global transformation of consciousness.”
So for me, it’s time to take notice of every word I utter. And in order to give to others, I need to nourish and honour myself.
Living Ahimsa will be like a mirror for me, replacing all those times when I lived in a place of judgement and negativity. It is time I shone a light on those dark places that keep me limited and project the light of positive thinking and speaking.
To Take the Peace Vow – visit www.mypeacevow.com
©iStockphoto.com