Many of strive to achieve a state of 'inner peace,' a feeling of relaxation and acceptance of what is, to create a sense of internal harmony and grace. Our inner peace radiates and creates a vibration that is contagious, spreading more harmony and peace to whoever interacts with us.
There is a saying that if you are in Bombay and want to get to Calcutta, a map of Calcutta will be of no use to you. First you need a map of Bombay to find your way out. Similarly, to find our way to inner peace, we must first understand the condition of inner conflict, so that we can find our way out of it.
There are many ways in which we create a state of conflict within ourselves, and many times we are not even aware of it.
Ways We Create Conflict
One very common way of creating disharmony is by re-living confrontations we had in the past over and over again. We may tell ourselves that we are investigating them to better understand what had transpired, but in effect we are giving them life as we go and creating a vibration of conflict in and around us.
One annoying and even brief exchange with someone in the office or at the shop can continue to reverberate in us all the way home and then long after we've returned and even gone to sleep. It is very rare that we actually gain any valuable insight from this kind of mental wrestling.
In other times, we engage in inner battles to "prepare ourselves" for future encounters or challenges. We can have long and drawn out conversations in our heads with partners, co-workers, neighbors, judges and bureaucrats.
These kinds of internal dialogues can create a lot of tension and conflict within us. We can spend hours mentally dueling with ghosts in our heads trying to figure out a way to overcome some challenge, only to discover later on that the expected obstacle never actually materialized.
In some cases, we can get so caught up with a perceived conflict that we can fail to even notice this, and can actually create a conflict where there is none. After arguing a point for so long in our heads, we can be deaf to hear the person we are talking to agreeing with us, and continue on the path already set out inside of us.
When we're busy creating and re-creating confrontations inside of us, we are basically polluting our internal world. The incredible beauty of existence is completely overlooked, and all our attention is focused on the perceived conflict.
Sometimes we feel that life's challenges are too great for us to simply enjoy a care-free observation of what is. We really need to figure out how to deal with ____ (fill in the blank) in order to start enjoying ourselves.
But actually, going over hypothetical situations in our minds not only keeps us from enjoying our lives right now, it is also not a very good way to prepare ourselves for even the challenges that we can predict, nonetheless those that just appear unannounced.
Speaking From Experience
This is a lesson I learned well when I was employed as a sales executive in a software firm. Whenever I tried to really prepare myself for an important meeting with a client, going over all the possible scenarios, I found myself surprised in the meeting to find my counterpart thinking things I hadn't expected.
In the beginning I would cling to my well practiced scenarios insisting on making the points I had formulated in advance, but this proved to be quite ineffective.
As time went by I got better at immediately dropping my pre-conceived notions about what was going to happen in the meeting the minute I saw the wind was blowing in another direction.
Eventually I figured out that to be really well prepared for a meeting was to be completely empty of expectations about what was going to happen. Not to try work out the scenarios or prepare my responses in advance, but to be as open and attentive as possible to the client, responding to whatever needs or concerns he may be having, whether expressed or just hinted at.
This is probably the best way to deal with many of life's challenges. It also leaves a lot of room for just being in the present moment and releases a lot of energy that can be put to much better use.
Once we have the determination to cease the internal bickering, what remains is to start paying close attention to our internal space and noticing when it is that we get caught up in dialogues with our "imaginary friends" (or enemies). Instead of working out whatever is on our mind, we can just drop it and become available again to the present moment.
In this practice there is an amazing opportunity, not just to relieve ourselves of a burden unnecessarily carried, but to arrive at a much deeper recognition.
If we are able to witness the internal dialogue, we can see that the voice in our head is not really who we are, since we are observing it. What is remained to find out is who exactly it is that is listening to the internal talk. And herein, I believe, is a key that was given by sages and mystics throughout time. A key to self-realization.