I am the twinkle in my father's eye… my mother's high heels and long beads I used to dress up in playing grown-ups… I am a teacher, a student, a writer, a lover, a daughter, a sister… I am the daughter of a long-line of mothers, I am a student from a long-line of gurus…
I Am Inspired
You don't have to delve into a spiritual text, have a degree in philosophy or immerse yourself in a ten-day vipassana meditation, to find spiritual inspiration; there are life lessons all around you. This week I got a tantalizing glimpse of myself and how the universe ticks by way of a mobile phone advert on the underground train.
The mobile phone ad features the author Rose Tremain, who writes… "I am the ragged fur coat my English Literature teacher wore in a cold boarding school classroom, and all the stories she encouraged me to write. I am a publisher's rejection letter; I am the white boots I wear in 1975 to meet the eighth publisher, and her devastating smile of acceptance..."
It got me thinking about the biggest of all spiritual enquiry, who indeed am I?
'I am' - it puts us in a place and time. It states our permanence and our impermanence. I am and I am not. Every time you define 'I am,' you also acknowledge everything that you are not.
There are two sides to the coin… I am can define us - it makes us value all the aspects of ourselves, whether it's as a writer, parent, maths genius, generous person, someone who can bake… it also limits us by all the things that we leave out.
There are different schools of thought on self enquiry - to define yourself and celebrate that being that you see, is one way. Or you can break down the definitions, go beyond 'I am,' because you are everything.
Across The Globe
I am what I am is at the heart of many spiritual doctrines around the world.
"I am that I am" or Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh is one English translation of God when Moses asks his name. Going back to the roots of existence…I believe God exists within each and everyone and by himself.
In India we find the words Tat Tvam Asi or "Thou art that" - which means we are Brahman, we are God, and the essence of the universe is the essence of the Atman (soul).
'Thou' is the innermost self - the soul - the truth - the essential person behind the names. The Advaita interpretation is beautiful - "As a single drop of water has the same qualities as an ocean of water, so has our consciousness the qualities of God's consciousness."
Belonging Over Being
Travel to Latin and South America and even Russia, and there is no "I am." In many native tongues, there is simply no verb "to be." Indigenous Soul, Shaman and writer Martin Prechtel says:
"In Santiago Atitlán, the Tzutujil language, has no verb to be. Tzutujil is a language of carrying and belonging, not a language of being. Without to be, there's no sense that something is absolutely this or that. If two people argue, they're said to be "split," like firewood, but both sides are still of the same substance. Some of the rights and wrongs that nations have fought and died to defend or obtain are not even relevant concepts to traditional Tzutujil, because their lives aren't based on absolute states or permanence. In a culture with the verb to be, one is always concerned with identity. To determine who you are, you must also determine who you are not. In a culture based on belonging, however, you must bond with others. You are defined by where you stand and whom you stand with. Mayans don't force the world to be what they want it to be: they make friends with it; they belong to life."
The Hindi message of Tat Tvam Asi and belonging to life are essentially the same - we are one, we are God, we are Earth, we are Sun, we are Nature, we are Life itself - no separation.
Similar to Martin Prechtel's sense of belonging and community is again the marketing ploy of the mobile phone company - a good mantra to live by… "it's the people we meet and the experiences we share that make us who we are. I am who I am because of everyone."
Seeing God In Everyone And Everything
Take it one step further and there is no separation. I am who I am because we are all One.
Seeing ourselves as One is our biggest challenge. My own chosen mantra sets to test me every day (usually while commuting on the London underground or in a rickshaw in Delhi). This mantra is the centerpiece of my teacher Yogi Bhajan's teaching: "If you can't see God in all, you can't see God at all."
This is my most challenging lesson. I see how it triggers me, especially whenever I judge someone, react to the jostle of a commuter, gossip about a colleague…
When you don't see God in all (animal, mineral or vegetable) you fail to see God in yourself, you set yourself apart; you can see yourself as "I am this, that and the other" and you define yourself as "I am different to you." If you fail to see God in yourself, you do not learn from the mirror that the "other" person provides.
"I am that I am" is like polishing the mirror. It is an opportunity to see God looking back at you.
The most eloquent description of this essence of being come from the Sufi poet Rumi.
"I am dust particles in the sunlight.
I am the round sun.
To the bits of dust I say, Stay.
To the sun, Keep moving.
I am morning mist,
And the breath of evening.
You the one in all, say who I am.
Say I am you."
A Meditation On 'I Am':
Sit and place your right hand on your knee with the hand in gyan mudra (index finger touching the thumb). Left hand ten centimeters in front of chest (at heart level) and say 'I am' and then move the hand out 30 centimetres in front of your chest and again say 'I am' – keep moving the hand chanting 'I am, I am.' If you say, 'I am,' in your mind, immediately, the mind asks, 'What?' If you say again 'I am,' you will try to answer 'I am what?'