Ask anybody, "Who are you?" and they will automatically answer with their name. Our name is usually considered to be our most intimate identity. It is who we are.
Of course if we think about it, we know that our name cannot really be who we are. When we are deep in sleep, we have no name at all. Even when we are dreaming, the name is gone. Yet we remain. We are, with or without our name.
Every time we wake up from sleep, we go through the process of re-identifying. It's like a computer being turned on, and the operating system loads all the settings - where am I (this is my bedroom), what's this loud sound (that's my alarm clock, gotta turn it off), and then everything I know about myself - I am John, this is my wife over here, I have to go to work soon, I am a lawyer, I like green tea with honey in the morning etc etc
While usually this happens in a flash, so fast that we don't even notice it, most people experience a slowing down of this process from time to time. Sometimes this happens when we have a fever, or when we sleep in an unknown environment, or even just coming out of an especially deep sleep.
Then we can really see this happening - the first disoriented moment before we know where we are, before we know who we are. At this moment we have no name, no identity, we are just observers taking in our environment. And then, in an instant, it's all there.
And our name comes first. It seems like so much of what we know about ourselves is tied to our name. Only after changing my name (for the first time,) did I realize how much 'baggage' had actually clung to it. So many years, so many people using this familiar sound to refer to me - I was reminded of schoolteachers, friends, army commanders, family, all using this name and charging it with their feelings and expectations. All giving me concepts about who the person attached to this name is. In a way, the name kind of developed a life of its own.
Though I liked my name, I found it very refreshing to start using a new one.
For me it felt like a kind of rebirth. With my new name, many connotations and expectation that were linked to my 'former identity' had been dropped, and when people would call me, a smile would always come to my face, because this name was only used with love, by people who were like minded, or that respected me and decided to accommodate my choice, even if it seemed a bit strange to them.
Many spiritual seekers choose to change their name, many times to the dismay of friends and family, who have a hard time accepting or even adapting to the change.
Perhaps it is a sign of how strong the perceived attachment between our name and our identity actually is, but more than that, these objections could be born of the fear that so many people have of 'loosing yourself' in a spiritual path.
This is much more so since most spiritual seekers receive their new name from a Guru. The concept of surrender that is a big part of the initiation by a Guru and the receiving of a new name is exactly the thing that scares us the most.
In the West we are raised to believe in the value of individuality, free choice and making our own way in the world. On the other hand, Eastern traditions honor the concept of surrender and consider it to be the right approach for bringing about spiritual growth.
The very act of surrendering to a Guru is thought to be of great value and some consider it to be even more important for the disciple than the actual teachings or even authenticity of the Guru that is being surrendered to. The important thing, the Eastern mind believes, is the authenticity of the surrender.
This attitude is enough to infuriate many Westerners. Receiving a new name from a Guru is seen as a sign of the disciple being suckered, brainwashed, and more likely than not, abused in some way for the benefit of the Guru, who is undoubtedly of immoral virtue, as is evident by the fact that he is doing such a terrible thing as giving a new name to the disciple, thus claiming his supposed spiritual superiority and brainwashing the disciple for his own benefit.
Usually the names given are in Sanskrit or from some other 'foreign' tradition, increasing even more the perceived threat. Not only are you giving away your personality, some would argue, you are also giving up your roots, your traditions, and dishonoring your parents along the way, since it is their God-given right to choose a name for you.
In a way, these arguments are valid. In receiving a new name, spiritual seekers are symbolically letting go of long held beliefs about themselves and about the world, in order to search for deeper meanings that can only be discovered with an open heart and mind, free of pre-conceptions and prior allegiances.
"Throw it to the fire," Mooji, the Guru who recently re-named me would say about all the concepts we hold on to. "And when you're done throwing everything you can find to the fire, throw yourself in as well. This fire won't burn you; it will only burn what you are not."