"About four years ago I noticed that I felt unenthusiastic about getting up in the mornings. But I saw that there were some people who had no difficulty at all with jumping out of bed ready to face the world.
I wanted to know their secret”, says Laurence Shorter, author of the book The Optimist – One Man’s Search For The Brighter Side Of Life.
What inspired you to write the book?
“I blamed my feeling of apathy on external things, like the bad news on TV, environmental disaster, political chaos, war etc.
I felt sure that pessimism was a major problem in society – as exemplified by the urgent and negative tones of the newspapers. I decided it was my mission to diagnose pessimism and come up with the cure: Optimism! I would to prove to the world, and more particularly my father – a self-declared pessimist – that everything is wonderful and perfect.
In reality, of course, what I really wanted was to prove to myself that the world is wonderful and perfect and to have a good look at my own negativity, patterns and beliefs”.
Were you an optimistic person before you began your research?
“Well, I thought I was – but I was wrong. Or at least half wrong. I had a kind of fragile optimism that came from my mind rather than my heart. As Desmond Tutu described it – optimism of that kind is something that flips easily into pessimism if things don’t go according to plan.
Some people (optimists) are born with this instinctive knowledge that everything is ok, on some deep level. But that basic truth, which I think is a spiritual truth, then gets misunderstood by the mind that wants everything to go its way. Then it isn’t optimism, it’s denial of reality”.
What changes occurred on completing the book?
“I’m way more realistic. And I’m not afraid of being around pessimists. In fact, in a funny way I am myself more pessimistic about external things, like war and suffering (and my ability at tennis), but more optimistic about my inner life, and more happy”.
Of all the people you interviewed, who inspired you the most and why?
“I often think about the Surfing Rabbi in Los Angeles, and his simple words: ‘Whatever is superfluous or unnecessary, it’s out. I don’t deal with it at all’. He meant that nothing comes before his surfing, nothing comes before his connection to the moment and to God. Anytime I get stressed about something I try to recall those words.
“I was also very influenced by the teacher Byron Katie, and her simple and profound teaching about how to question our beliefs; and our power to choose less stressful, more happy thoughts in any situation. I now use that thinking almost every day - it’s our absolute power to choose positivity.
“Finally, I was helped a lot by the American clinical psychologist Martin Seligman, who came up with a scientific structure for understanding the mechanics of optimism and pessimism from a cognitive and neurological perspective. He also came up with the ‘3 Blessings,’ an exercise in feeling gratitude every night for three things that went well in your day. It has an amazingly powerful (and clinically proven) effect”.
Do you believe that we have to work at being optimistic?
“I think so. We have to work at unbelieving what we have believed for so long – that we do not have power to choose our state of being”.
How do you deal with difficult challenges?
“By sulking and complaining and trying to figure it all out, getting terribly confused, trying to ‘feel’ my emotions and finally giving up and letting go of trying to fix the situation. Then at some point I relax and really let myself sink into whatever difficult emotion is there and wants to be felt. Then comes peace. Writing things down helps. But sometimes I just put on a CD and I feel better right away.
“I have noticed one thing very clearly – when I want to feel good, I can do it very quickly. When I feel bad for any length of time, it’s because I don’t really want to feel better. There’s a stubborn, wilful element in my heart that doesn’t want to play. I always have a choice. Since writing the book, I see almost every external difficulty first as an internal challenge, and only after that as a problem with the outside world.
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