Here I Am, Dancing Again
I discovered myself on the dance floor, waltzing with my partner… one, two, three, one, two, three were the sweet-nothings he whispered in my ear as we tried not to step on each other’s toes – literally and figuratively.
I’ve always danced. From an early age, I was taxied to ballet classes and was strutting my stuff in lycra at school dance performances and national competitions.
I didn’t quite grow out of the leotards and legwarmers either, as I still seek out dance classes around the globe.
Trance Dance
I have spent a lot of time going on an inward journey with ecstatic trance dance – a liberating moving meditation with live music and space to explore yourself.
Ecstatic trance dance can be cathartic, revelatory and expansive. You find yourself swirling and howling like a banshee and then moments later moving like a hollow bamboo dancing in the wind.
There can be visions and primal movement – which gives way to sufi-esque whirling and hands forming mudras. I always found this dance meditation empowering and cleansing.
It’s also possible to dance the path of the yoga goddess with the Shakti Dance – a wonderful yoga-fused dance with its roots in Kundalini Yoga.
In the Shakti dance I explore my body with yogic warm-ups and feel how I normally move - where my habitual movements and patterns are, where I hold onto tension.
Though I love to dance solo - lost in the music with ecstatic trance dance meditation or sinking into my hips during belly-dance - I’ve never been drawn to dancing cheek-to-cheek in a class.
Something Different
So it was a revelation to find myself doing the waltz and the mazurka.
The mazurka is a heavily accented waltz with a hop. Hailing from Poland, the mazurka can be lively or seductive.
It didn’t really matter what we looked like on the dancefloor though, what was fascinating was relearning your relationship as you dance. Both with yourself and your partner.
How you dance says a lot about you. Shying into the corner or leading a line dance, pulling the latest moves or dancing only whilst intoxicated.
And when you learn to dance in a couple, you start to see the dynamics in your relationship highlighted. Where one leads… while the other should trust and let go, allowing themselves to be led.
Spiritual Lessons In Dancing
A common problem in dancing in a couple is that the woman has had more experience of dancing and the guy has two left feet (a generalization I know) and the woman finds herself leading…
For me dancing cheek-to-cheek was a lesson in trust. To be supported, to fall into the arms of my partner. I had to allow myself to be led. It was fascinating.
Rhythm and dance steps aside, it was a real lesson in learning to surrender.
And if you are dancing with your real-life partner, not just your dance partner, there can be electricity, but also shocks! You see where you push each other’s buttons, both sensually and in a temper.
Falling further out of my comfort zone, we then had to swap partners. Dance up close and personal with random people and you can feel your defences prickle.
Your ego can be worried about not looking stupid in front of a new judge and jury.
Once my initial fear had subdued as I held sweaty hands with an unknown boy (just like in school) I could start to enjoy myself.
Solo Dancing
Two days later I found myself back in the safety bubble of free dance. Dancing to world music solo again and happy to dancing by myself exploring my own space, but still checking out the dynamics of the dance floor.
Some people come to the dance floor with an agenda. There are the guys who try to initiate contact dance, although this is free dance and the women who either entangle themselves or shy away.
Then there is the person who wants to teach everyone to salsa although again we are dancing to dub and it’s a free movement session. There’s a time and a place for it all.
Whether dancing solo, with a partner or in a group, it has fascinated me to see who I am on the dance floor. To see which roles I play when left to my own dancing devices, or when dancing with somebody else.
“Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most beautiful of the arts, because it is no mere translation or abstraction from life; it is life itself.” Havelock Ellis