Prior to sitting down and actually writing this article, I had to put cream on my hands, fill my dog's water bowl, check my emails, get my iced tea, and do a few dishes in the sink. I felt engaged in a battle with my distractive restlessness, and it seemed to be getting the better of me.
All of a sudden I had to emit a huge amount of energy to reign in my focus in order to get my thoughts out of my head and on to my laptop. Even now, as I'm writing, I question whether I should go to itunes and put on some music or just listen to the soft sounds coming from outside of my window. I glance at the clock and see if it is time for lunch, maybe my writing will be better if I have something in my stomach. This is what I call the 'madness of menopause.'
The Symptoms Of Menopause
Routines that were easy suddenly turn into a daily struggle. Self-blame can take hold, until information and understanding open your eyes to the transformation you are experiencing called menopause.
The symptoms of menopause arrive like an unwelcome guest who shows up at your doorstep. You are left checking in with your body and mind only to find new symptoms appearing on a daily basis. Knowing that this stage of life is a normal part of a woman's life-cycle only adds to the confusion of how to handle these natural changes.
Some women take their cues from their mother's menopausal experience. If you happen to have a mother who believed in toughing it out, and her symptoms were not as bad as yours, you could feel guilt and unease about being more pro-active in handling your suffering.
It's helpful to understand that menopause in an individual affair. Some women go through it like a breeze, and others struggle from the unbearable mental and physiological changes.
What's Going On
Some of the menopausal body challenges can include and are not limited to - osteoporosis, heart disease, hot flashes, nausea, dizziness, joint and muscle pain, insomnia, gastric upset, weight gain, urinary difficulties, mental fuzziness and headaches. These physiological changes can easily result in depression.
When depression is triggered women no longer have the mental muscle available to work on and control their physical symptoms. It is a vicious cycle that can feel like a continuous uphill battle.
In addition to battling the 'hormotional' element, painful mid-life issues start to emerge. Women must deal with aging parents, empty nest, lack of sexual desire, loss and grief, marital shifts and existential issues of mortality and the meaning of life.
It is hard to count on any resilience when your internal and external worlds seem to be colliding. Adding to the exacerbation, one's coping mechanisms which were successful in the past may now feel fruitless and futile. Thus starts the arduous task of searching for solutions to manage the symptoms and regain some sense of quality of life. Even this stage can be daunting because of the confusing information out there.
To use HRT (hormone replacement therapy) or not to use HRT that is the question. If you try to prevent heart disease with HRT you may be in danger of promoting breast cancer. All of a sudden managing your health can feel like your playing a game of Russian roulette.
At this point you may be thinking, okay I understand all the madness of menopause, but where is the magic?
Hold on, I need a piece of chocolate, I'll be right back. Okay, I'm back. When the rug has been pulled out from under you and you're scrambling to stay on your feet, you start to acquire some strength. When you feel like crap and you have to get up and function anyway, you build strength. When your heart is aching from loss and you don't want to face the world but you do anyway, you build strength.
Slowly, the inner power surge starts to develop. You're unaware of its emergence because you've been too busy trying to control your symptoms. This strength is unlike anything you have previously felt. It is the strength of your life experiences, of having lived through so much and surviving.
Even Finding Gratitude For Menopause
In one's frantic search to ease the pain and cope with life's randomness, the delicious side effect you gain is wisdom. When young, we may have sought the comfort of our elders to hear reassuring words. Now, we encompass those words within ourselves.
At this stage, we write the scripts of our lives and feel free to make the choices for ourselves. We know that life can be hard and toss you like a feather in a storm, so you begin to appreciate the moments when there is peace.
A gratitude for what is around you can emerge like never before. The alarm goes off and says now is your time to live and be as you like. Now, in this precious moment because we know all too well that the next moment may hold something quite different.
This is the greatest gift of menopause when you're able to dust off all the symptoms and craziness to find the hidden treasure that lies beneath. We have to accept the changes in our body because we can't fight time. Oh we could buy time with plastic surgery but eventually that solution runs out as well. There is relief and freedom in accepting ourselves the way we are. There is satisfaction and ease knowing that we have lived life and survived this long.
I often joke with my girlfriends and say that I'm kind of glad my vision is not so great anymore because I don't need to see my face up close. I'd rather focus my vision on what I look like internally.
Menopause can allow women to work towards cultivating their intelligence, curiosity and inner serenity. The next time you experience a hot flash, look at it as an alarm clock going off telling you to wake up and find the magic in all of this madness.