What can you do when you are at work, and your superior shows a lack of appreciation for your work, is disrespectful or, doesn't acknowledge you at all? Instinctively, you are likely to react with anger, hurt feelings, defiance, or an 'identical' response. But, none of these reactions will make you feel better, or fix the situation; in fact, they will most likely create the opposite result. So, what to do?
Making the Distinction Between Who I Am And The Situation
The first step, and maybe the most important one, is to make the distinction between who you are and the situation. Meaning, do not take on blame or translate criticism into self doubt like saying - I'm not worthy; I'm not capable. And don't have fearful thoughts like - they'll fire me and I'll have financial problems.
Instead, stay present and clear with yourself: I am worthy; I am talented; I contribute to the organization in such and such a manner; I am a good and responsible worker, etc.
The moment a distinction is made between yourself and the situation, it is as if you disconnect from the degrading frequency. This negative frequency does not really come from an outside source - like, for example an angry boss.
This frequency is created by our thoughts in reaction to the situation, and from an independent inner dialogue that usually amplifies and exaggerates the situation.
In psychology this is called "dramatization," which is to say that we create a drama and then behave accordingly. The moment we separate ourselves from the situation we come back to ourselves, to our strength, and to that place where we are centered within ourselves.
Standing In The Other Persons Shoes
Once we succeed in coming back to ourselves, the second step is to try and see the other person objectively: are they under a lot of pressure these days? Do they seem troubled or drained? Do they behave this way with others? Is it possible that something is causing them stress that they are in turn misdirecting?
When you determine that the behavior is not personal, the sense of personal insult will fade or at least diminish, and then you will have the strength for the third step: an open discussion that is approached from a more secure, calm and collected place.
For example: "I noticed that you didn't say good morning; lately when I turn in work you seem unsatisfied. Is there some way I can help to make our division more efficient and ease some of your pressure? I would be happy to help…"
From this perspective everything looks different, and communication begins flowing constructively. Communication between people is the basis of success in life. As communication with yourself and with those around you improves and flourishes, this ability allows you to succeed in all areas, and connect with the source of your fundamental essence. As with every talent or ability, it becomes easier with practice, and improves with time.
The only thing that is likely to stand in the way is the ego. It will 'tell' us to become closed off and create walls, to deny or stay angry. And, we know from experience that these emotions weaken us. Therefore if we succeed in avoiding the ego-trap and take these three steps, we will gain awareness, appreciation, strength, understanding, and maybe even a promotion!
Energetic Separation
With all this, there are still times when we just don't have the mental strength to stay clear headed when the boss is standing over us and it seems like anything said will lead to more conflict. At times like these it is possible to make an energetic separation. This is a powerful way to detach and not be influenced by the negative energy you engage.
Visualize a gigantic pyramid surrounding you, you are inside the pyramid, and golden white light is drawn through the pyramid to you, the pyramid and your body fill with glimmering light. Imagine every cell in your body glowing with light as well as all the spaces in between.
Imagine your heart filling with light, entering your body with every breath and filling all your organs. You can go to a quiet place to do this, or just stay where you are in the office. No one knows what happens inside of us. The important thing is to bring your gaze inward and allow yourself to be filled with light.
The combination of the pyramid and the light amplifies our natural strengths and we become stronger from within. There is usually an immediate reaction from the environment because people sense the strength emanating from us.
Now, imagine your boss is in another pyramid; and then, send them far, far away from you. That person will be forced to deal with their toxic energy themselves, or dissolve it. You will experience an immediate detachment from that person's influence, and you will also stop obsessing over it in your mind. There is a very good chance that the next time you meet, that person's attitude towards you will be different.
Everywhere You Go, Always Take The Weather With You
This phrase, taken from a song by music group Crowded House, sums up the notion that we can create the atmosphere around us. There will always be a cloud on the horizon that may try to take over and cast a shadow on our lives - if we give it the opportunity.
Our personal responsibility is to shine with a light so bright, without compromise or hesitation, so sure of its perfection and individuality that the cloud melts, dissolves, or simply passes as fast as it can.
Instead of reacting passively to negative energy directed at us from outside sources like a boss who is in a negative space, we have the right to choose to take action for our own benefit, from a higher place of completion and personal acceptance. This ability is a spiritual tool that facilitates command of our lives.
If we choose to function with the awareness that we influence and control to a large extent the situations we find ourselves in, we will reduce the possibility that a boss or any other person might feel justified in behaving disrespectfully, or in any way inappropriately.
When we are balanced and at ease, and we choose to function from a place of self-respect, we will find ourselves in fewer contrary situations, and when we do find ourselves in these situations it will be possible to navigate the most direct path out again.