I have slept with my daughter virtually every night of her life, simply because it seemed natural to me, and I have found that co-sleeping is one of the easiest ways to nurture babies in the night-time.
Recent studies show that babies who sleep in the same bed with their mothers sleep far better, breastfeed better and have fewer breathing problems.
The first and most obvious reason to try co-sleeping is that there is no need to get up in the night every time the baby wakes to feed. Most mothers find that they can nurse their baby without either her or the baby fully waking up.
Many times babies stir in the night simply needing the nurturing and assurance that she is safe, and the close presence of a parent gives this comfort immediately, meaning that the baby can go right back to sleep, rather than resorting to crying to get the attention she needs.
The common western model of putting babies to sleep in a crib in their own room means that every time the baby wakes up, she must first cry enough to get her parents' attention, then her parent, woken by the sound of crying must get out of bed, go to the nursery room, feed, comfort and re-settle the baby back to sleep.
Clearly, having the baby already in the bed with you or at least in the same room is a lot more convenient and it’s a practice followed by almost every traditional culture in the world.
An infant usually doesn’t begin to understand that her mother is 'just in the next room' until the age of about one year.
When the baby wakes up to find an empty room, she can feel alone and afraid. The baby will stir, wriggle and whimper, trying to get her parents' attention. When this attention isn't forthcoming, the baby will use the only resource available to her: crying.
Of course, her parent comes running, even in less than a minute, but for the baby, that 'minute' can feel like a long time to be alone, afraid and crying. If an infant can't see or feel her parents, she doesn't know that they are there and when this is the nightly routine, it can sometimes lead the child to grow with underlying feelings of being unloved and unwanted, even if her waking hours are full of love and affection.
The familiar closeness of her mother's breath, smell and touch helps a baby to feel safe, and to stay sleeping peacefully.
Babies who stir in the night often tune their sleeping pattern into that of their mothers, and co-sleeping has been proven to help babies with sleep apnoeas, with research suggesting that the touch of a parent's breath helps the baby to keep breathing while in deep sleep.
Sleeping with your baby can also help modern working parents to re-connect and make up for 'together' nurturing time lost during the day. In addition, nursing produces special hormones in the mother that can help her to relax at the end of a busy day.
There have been recent reports on the dangers of letting babies sleep in an adult bed, and many people will happily quote statistics showing how many babies have died because of being rolled on by a drunken parent or of suffocating on plush pillows or being trapped and strangled in headboards.
However, while these accidents can sometimes happen, they are very rare, and these statistics never compare the number of babies who die as a result of being in a crib.
The best way to avoid possible accidents,
whether the baby sleeps in a crib or in the parents' bed is to ensure the bed does not have gaps that the baby could slip into between the headboard or footboard and the mattress, and that the mattress fits on the bed-frame.
Check that there is no chance for the baby to roll off the bed and that there is no chance for the baby to become trapped in drapes, rails or other objects. Essentially, an adult bed should comply with the same safety standards that a baby crib requires.
A common complaint I hear from parents who want to try co-sleeping is that there isn’t enough room in the bed.
For this there is a simple solution: get a bigger bed!
It is also possible to get a single bed that can be placed alongside the parents' double bed, making a much bigger space for the family. Just make sure that there is no gap between the two beds that the baby could slip into.
There are also available on the market specially designed cribs that fit to the side of the parents' bed, allowing the baby to sleep close to her mother while still having her own space. These cribs are usually convertible and can also become a free-standing crib.
Another reason I hear that parents have trouble with co-sleeping is that the father has trouble to sleep when there is a disturbance in the room, and he has to get up for work in the morning. Keep in mind that a mother's job is just as important, and the emotional wellbeing of the child is the most important of all.