The Date Tree

There was a troublesome man at the retreat centre in Zawiyya. Everyday this man would throw stones at the zawiyya. He was an old man and each time Sidi would say, "Send him mercy. If he wants food, give him food. If he wants clothes, give him clothes. If he wants money, give him money. Give him what he wants."

But when I gave him what he wanted, he would, together with his sons, throw more stones at the zawiyya.

I asked, "What is the wisdom?"

I would go to this old man and give him some food and some money and some clothes from my guide, but I felt something very strong inside because he was a bad man. But, I listened to what my guide said, "There are many messages when this old man throws stones at the zawiyya."

Then the old man became sick and my guide sent me to him. When I arrived at his house, the old man woke up and asked, "Who is there?" I said, "Muhammad, excuse me, I want to help you."

Then he began to weep and he started to return (asking God for forgiveness, and after a time to change everything).

He stayed home for five days. Then he got up and came to live in the zawiyya. He became a holy student. Sidi met him later in Amman, Jordan when the man was 105 years old. "If I didn't throw stones at the Zawiyya, I would have never returned to
God," said the old man.

Sidi's Understanding Of The Story

After relating this story, Sidi analogized it to the date tree and what we can learn from it. "When any person throws something to hit the date tree, it gives him back sweets. This is the right way. If anyone makes something bad for you or speaks in an unkind way, understand who speaks and who hits." 

Sidi continued, "Be sweet and give to everyone who wants sweets because after the fire is the garden and after the darkness is light. It is necessary to see within everything, to see where it is coming from and to return it to God. Be polite! Everything is the Face of your God."

This true story is an amazing example to the shift that can be created in our world, both personally and globally. When we understand that everything is a reflection of God then we will be able to understand and forgive our supposed enemies.

Unity, Not Separation

Many times in life when when there is a conflict more force is being used to resolve it. And often when we are offended or harmed by somebody or a situation our ego reacts. The ego is the part of our humanity that wants to be right, to be strong, and to be in control.

The story teaches us that when we have tolerance, patience, and a deep understanding of the other side we may be able to resolve the situation in a way that creates unity rather than separation and war.

One of the important lessons that we can learn from this story is to look beyond the obvious. The Zawiyya was symbolizing, to the man who threw stones, God. Many people have doubt in God like the old man throwing the stones.

 Sidi 'Abd ar-Rahman knew that with time, patience and generosity the old man would see the sincerity, compassion and love of the students at the Zawiyya (retreat center) and would renew his relationship with God. That's why he kept giving the old man the material things that he needed.

Compassion

Many times when we have a strife with somebody we look at how we are right and how inconsiderate they are, and we may feel sorry for ourselves or in our anger decide to fight back and show the one who has offended us, just what we are capable of.

These are all reactions of the ego, and such reaction creates further conflict and pain. When we take the time to be compassionate and understanding to the person who has offended us, who has 'thrown stones at us,' we create an opening to reach a resolution that makes both sides happy.